finally friday!

I did it.

I faithfully blogged every day this week, because I am the most awesome person you know.

Most people love Fridays; it's the last day of the work week, sometimes it's payday, it's the start of the weekend if you work a nine-to-five, it might be date night, blah. Etc.

TGI- eff-ing F.

Bankers do not love Fridays, because it's always somebody's payday. On Fridays many of these somebodies want to cash their paychecks although they do not have a checking account and they are no more interested in opening a checking account than they were when you asked them last Friday, when they got their last paycheck and, really? There's a $10.00 check cashing fee? That's bullshit. You mean to tell me that you are going to charge me ten entire dollars to cash a check drawn on your own god damn bank?

Yes, sir. We can cash it for you as a courtesy, since the check is drawn on our bank and we can verify that the funds are available, but we charge you ten entire dollars because our clients in line behind you are waiting to deposit their checks, and non-account holders like you are making that line longer. Additionally, we do not operate as a non-profit check cashing service. Morever, please do not use any more profanity while you are standing in front of my teller station or I will punch you in the fucking face have to ask you to leave.

In all fairness, since I am a bank office manager I usually don't sit at a teller station. I sit in my office. I override holds on large deposits. I take loan applications and follow up with new customers. I try to set appointments with companies who offer direct deposit so that I can encouarge their employees to set up accounts with direct deposit. I'm the one you call when there is fraudulent activity on your checkcard because you ordered porn or whatever from a website of ill repute.

Ohh, and I refund overdraft fees. Be nice to me; I have the power. Muhahaha.

Some Fridays, however, when we are short handed of tellers and when I'm feeling generous, I pull out my till (we totally don't call it a till, we call it a drawer) and set up shop along with the peons. (Kidding, Jayme!) And when the non-customers come calling, I put on my friendly voice, and give 'em my best apply-for-a-credit-card eyes. I'll waive the ten dollar check cashing fee, just for you, whether you're approved or not.


Davin Malasarn said…
Hilarious post! I never thought of this, but I guess the life of a banker isn't very well advertised yet. It should be! And, congratulations on your blogging! I started mine a few months ago, and I know how much work it can be.
Jm Diaz said…
As always, you made me laugh... The punching in the face, I mean, kindly ask them to leave, is priceless. I hate dealing with people, which is probably why I have been relegated to the windowless, halogen powered basement... and I am totally fine with that. Because people, in general, tend to suck.

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