My Morning Routine

Wake up at 7:45. Grab diet pepsi and cigarette as hubby is on his way out the door, half kissing him, because is it too early to be lovey-dovey with anyone.

Switch t.v. from Malcolm in the Middle to Good Morning America. Spend the better part of an hour updating facebook and twitter and reading what others have posted since I last logged out.

At some point let dog out. At some point realize dog has left back yard. Curse her audibly, and try to locate her out the living room window. If I'm lucky, she's on the front sidewalk and close to the front door. (Like today!) Let her back in and feed her.

Read a couple of followed blog's entries. Feel bad I've wasted the hour not blogging. Know that if I do not get in the shower NOW I will have to forget either make-up or blow drying my hair.

Light another cigarette (my last one, and I'll get in the shower, swear!) and contemplate: do I have time to write for five minutes before I start getting ready? What will I even write about?

Yell at dog who started barking uncontrollably at neighbor's cat or some other unseen-to-me rodent. Think offhandedly that I have no idea what I'm wearing to work, and clean laundry is folded but not put away, and are there towels in the dryer(?) because damn, I'll need the dryer to steam out some wrinkles in whatever I am actually going to wear.

It's now 8:45. I have to be at work in 45 minutes. Thank God I live five minutes from the bank. I might make it on time. Why is Tyra Banks being bitchy on GMA? I was only half watching. Just lit another cigarette. Damn. It's now 8:50.

I am not a morning person, not even a little bit.

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