thumb-twiddling tuesday

It has been one week and four days since I've last written a word.

Well, I have written plenty of words -- on this blog, on facebook, at work, in my checkbook register, and with the electronic pens at Speedway and Kroger and Walgreens and such, after entering my pin number.

But I have not written a word of my yet-to-be-titled-and-properly-worked-out novel in eleven days, or two hundred and sixty four hours.

I do, however, have the perfect opening line of what will some day become my query letter when I look to get an agent; you know, the moment in time just before I'm published and bankrupted by libel.

So... here it is, the opening line:

Laurel Lancaster's closet is over-full of skeletons.

Damn. It sounds so much cooler in my head than it looks on the page.

Laurel Lancaster's closet is overly full of skeletons?
Laurel Lancaster's closet is overflowing of skeletons?
Laurel Lancaster's cloest is overflowing with skeletons?
Laurel Lancaster's closet is fucking full of skeletons.

Question: Who has read The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing, or any other compliation of short stories (think Alice Munro, The Beggar Maid) centered around the same character -- so that it reads almost like a novel? If so, what do you think of this structure?

Back to thumb twiddling while I await your answers.


Jm Diaz said…
Full of fucking skeletons is more of an attention grabber, but you'd have maintain that voice through the novel. Otherwise, just leave it at full of skeletons. Its cleaner and doesn't seem over dressed.
Travener said…
How about "Laurel Lancaster's closet has more skeletons than a Capuchin crypt."?

"Full of fucking skeletons" makes me wonder what dirty deeds are going on in that closet!


Laurel wouldn't get that reference, though Amber enjoys it.

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