TMI Thursday: unsmooth moves or, he's just not that into you

TMI Thursday

I am now an oldmarriedlady, but I look back on my single days with rose-colored fondness. I have had a fair amount of success with the less-fair sex, but most of that success involved ego-boosting amounts of alcohol and the willingness to lower my standards.

However, like every woman, I've had my share of failures in the realm of "will you go out with me?" I thought for this TMI Thursday, I could revisit a few of those times when my pimp hand was not its strongest.

THE CAR GUY
I bought a Geo Metro one summer after a deer killed my sporty Dodge Neon (RIP, Stella!) and the only reason I chose the Metro was because the salesman, Clayton, was super hot. I was working as an assistant manager at a movie theater in those days, and he wanted to know if I could hook him up with some free tickets. I decided to give him two rainchecks (i.e. free passes) and paper clipped them to a note that said, "These two tickets are good for one movie if you take me." I included my cell phone number.

He never called... and he used the passes.

THE WAITER
I thought this server and I had a real connection, so I left my phone number in the little credit card book (along with a generous 25% tip!) and a note that said I would love to make him dinner for a change. I'm still waiting for the phone to ring.

THE BMOC'S
My freshman year of college I attended a small school in Springfield, Missouri. There was some kind of Harvest Homecoming-type-event where the girls were supposed to ask the guys in a creative way. I decided to ask a guy who was in the cast of the fall production of The Misanthrope (or something. I might be remembering it wrong. It might have been the Spring Semester, and it could have been a different play. I'm probably blocking it out.) Anyway, after the production, there was a tradition of a question and answer session for the cast and crew. After several people asked thematic questions, I raised my hand and stood up. "My question is for Josh. I was wondering if you'd go to the Harvest Homecoming-type-event with me." He looked pale and pained. "Uh, sorry. I already have a date."

Undaunted, I decided to try again with an artsy-seeming guy, Darren, who lived in my dorm building. Every day for a week I would put an envelope into his mailbox containing a post-it note with a word or two on it: WILL/ YOU GO/ TO HARVEST... I think it was day four when another girl asked him on this dorm-wide-phone-call update-system-thing (like a mass voicemail or something: another slight blockage of the hazy memory) and he said yes to her. I think they ended up getting married to each other.

THE GOLF COACH
My parents attempted to set me up with my sister's former high school golf coach, and we all went on a double date together. (Yes, you read that right.) I thought that after dinner he and I might continue the date on our own, and hinted about being really excited to go play mini-golf or see a movie or something. As we walked out of the restaurant, there was only an akward, "Well, that was fun; we should get together again sometime." The best part is that he's married now, and not only did I get to be their waitress on more than one occasion a couple of years ago (she doesn't like tomatoes) but I just saw him last week in the bank where I work!

To these boys, all I have to say is: it's your loss. Clearly.

Check out LiLu's blog today for her version of Post Secret... and if you don't already know about postsecret.com, you are seriously missing out.

Comments

Haha, this was cute! I admire your courageous you are!! I wish I could be like that!
Loved this post! :)
Will said…
Are you kidding? There are women out there who actually ask out guys? I've never been asked out. If any woman put as much thought or creativity into asking me out as you did those guys it would be an automatic "yes".
Regina Quentin said…
Oh the awkward moments of life. I would hate for the guy to coincidentally keep showing up where I work.
carissajaded said…
Wait to show some balls girl! I have been trying to get myself to put myself out there.. and maybe you inspired me a little. Love it!
Tina Lynn said…
Nice. I don't think I've asked a guy out even once.
Wendy Sparrow said…
Wow! You are bold... and it's too bad tenacity doesn't always win the unfairer sex. ;) Then again, sometimes they say yes and turn out to be losers, so really they probably just saved you the time in finding that out.
Travener said…
I'm with Will on this one. No woman ever gave me her phone number. I was asked out by a woman once -- but (a) I was living with another woman at the time to it was moot and (b) the aforementioned woman who asked me out was crazy as a loon.
LiLu said…
"...and a note that said I would love to make him dinner for a change."

Dudette! That is totally bad ass! ;-)
Lucy said…
Oh, my gosh you sre brave, so brave, I wish I had your gumption!!
Shandal said…
I came across your blog today and read back several posts. I really enjoyed everything that you've said! You've got yourself another follower! LOL! :)

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