check it twice

Dear Santa,

As you well know, I've been an extremely good girl this year. Not only have I stopped using my credit cards, but I have also cut down on my spending by eating lunch at home during the week. I really miss Jersey Mikes and Panera Bread and Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

Here is what I want, you jolly old man...

1. A good hair straightener that doesn't cost $15.00 and isn't sold at Wal-Mart. I've heard you can get a decent one at Ulta. (It doesn't even have to be pink.)

2. A houndstooth coat. I realize that basic black might be better, so if you think the houndstooth pattern is a trend, Santa, then I'll understand. Please just choose something that won't show tan doggy hair.

3. There are so many books I'd like to read, Santa. Here are a few that are on my must-read list.
* The Post Secret Books. All of them. I'd prefer if you'd choose copies in which strangers have hand written their own secrets, if it isn't too much trouble.
* The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver
* Wishin' and Hopin' by Wally Lamb
* The Little Friend by Donna Tartt
* Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
* The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold
* The Senator's Wife by Sue Miller
* Any books on the craft of writing that are recommended by the North Pole book shop.
* Any short story anthology of your choosing

Those oughta keep me out of trouble in the early part of '09, Santa.

4. I know it isn't easy to shop for women's clothes, Saint Nick, but this VISA gift card will suffice. I can spend those cold January days at the mall, and it would save you a ton of time.

5. While we're talking about gift cards, you could throw in some for lunch so I don't always have to eat leftovers and Lean Cuisine.

6. I could really use a new digital camera, Claus. I'm not loyal to any particular brand -- I'm sure pretty much everything is an upgrade from my hp Photosmart piece of shit junk. (Sorry, Santa.)

7. Tickets to an Indiana basketball game would be nice, but if you can't make that happen, then could I at least get a pair of candy-striped warm up pants?

8. I'd really like to start applying my foundation with a make-up brush. Can you help make this happen, Santa? Go to the MAC counter; they'll know what to do.

9. Victoria's Secret Love Spell Stuff. Pllllease?!

10. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, and new gutters for the house. "Nuff said, right Santa?


Tina Lynn said…
I want tickets to Phantom of the Opera. Please!!!
carissajaded said…
I think I'm gonna have to write my letter to santa soon, and I think I have many of the same items on my wish list. Namely the straightener. I have gone through about 3 cheap ones in the last year. And also the $500 gift card. I'll take four of those. Or 6. And should just about cover it. Oh, and a new car...
Shandal said…
I have that CHI straightener, LOVE IT!
Organic Meatbag said…
Amber, I'll personally see to it that you get all of this stuff... Santa owes me a favor since I saved his ass in 'nam...hahahahah
You could walk into my office right now, kick me as hard as you possibly can in the groin, and yet, thanks to number 7, you will always have a warm, safe place in your heart.
Kentucky Blonde said…
Could you please ask for two copies of the post secret book? I haven't been good enough this year to get anything so maybe you could be a doll and just get an extra one for me! and the candy striped pajama pants PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Santa said…
Whatever you want, babe.
pinkflipflops said…
I could go for about all of that list as well.
The Daily Rant said…
Your list is great. I can never, and I mean NEVER come up with anything that I want when asked, "What do you want for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary?" I'm so lame that way. Now you've prompted me to actually go make my Christmas list AND post it on my blog. Thanks a lot....I didn't need that pressure. LOL
The Daily Rant said…
Oh...and houndstooth is classic, not trendy. So go for it!

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