have you seen my stapler?

Wall. head. bangspice.

It has officially been a Monday. I have, in fact, a case of the Mondays.

Perhaps I am feeling a bit surly due to the state of utter failure that is my NCAA tournament bracket. I may as well have wiped my arse with the five dollars I spent to enter my own damn pool at work. The Kansas Jayhawks can run and flock themselves.

In other news, I have learned that my biggest failure as a writer is point of view. Apparently, even when writing in third-person omniscient, one cannot freely head-hop her way through a manuscript, even if it sounds really, really cool in her own head. It only confuses and annoys readers.

Now, rather than throwing in the towel, I'm trying to compile a list of references so that I can become a better writer. If anyone has reccomended remedial reading on POV, please leave a shout-out for me in the comments. Also, if anyone can think of good examples of novels written in omniscient third person POV, leave me those titles as well.

My muse and I will be eternally indebted to you.

Lastly, I would like you to know that I had an ab fab weekend, but since this Monday has swiftly kicked me in the you-knows, it all feels very far away, like it happened in a dream long ago. If you'll excuse me, there is a giant bottle of wine calling my name. I believe she wants to get me drunk and take advantage of me.

I think I'm going to let her.


EmcogNEATO! said…
I like to write, and like to imagine that one day I will pen some fantabulously awesome novel. However, I still have to look up what third person omniwhatsit means. So...

I'm sure you'll get the POV worked out. And then you will rockitspice (I promise, I only use your witticisms here. I don't steal them IRL.)
Elliott said…
Omniscience is overrated. Know-it-all...

I'll take a look back at notes, a friend of mine once 'lent' me a book on proper POV, I'll see if I can dig up the title for you.
Perfect post for a Monday. :) Sorry to hear about your POV thing, I'll have to see what I have on that. I have a friend who is like the POV police, so I'll ask her.
Melissa said…
I have a book that covers viewpoint. It's called "Character and Viewpoint" by Orson Scott Card (the author of Ender's Game). It really helped me out when I was trying to figure out how to even write a book.
MJenks said…
In my big book, my magnum opus, my chapter titles are usually a family name, and anyone in that family can be the POV telling the story in that chapter.

Once or twice, I'll break a chapter in the middle and I'll have someone else from the same family telling the story slightly differently. That's how I tackle things from different POVs. They're all looking at the same stuff, but it's through different lenses, and that's how the story advances.

In other stories, I tend to keep a main character or two and keep the POV from them.
Susan R. Mills said…
As a Kansas State fan, I don't care much for the Jayhawks in the first place, but they certainly did let their fans down, didn't they? As for POV, I can't be of much help there. I prefer first person or limited third person. This naturally keeps me from head hopping. Enjoy the wine. I think I'll join you.
Elana Johnson said…
LOL! What a great post. I'm sorry your Monday has been bad. Mine's been pretty great!

And I don't have any suggestions about omniscient. Um, good luck?!
I have yet to find a text on POV that is truly helpful. I think reading well written examples is the way to go. I'm writing in limited 3rd person so I don't have a ton off the top of my head, but here are a few:

Anna Karenina
Sense and Sensibility (I think)

P.S. I am slammed today but am so glad to have found your blog. I will come back to read more. We have a lot in common (I'm an ex-banker/wannabe writer) and I also write literary fiction.
Jen said…
Great post even though I'm unable to help! Sorry about stupid Kansas!!!

I tried third person for my POV and realized that I couldn't write like I wanted for my current WIP, writing first person helped do wonders but I have no idea how I was able to love it, I just do!

Melissa is right, that book is fantastic!!
pinkflopflops44 said…
booo... i had a great monday but only because i am counting down until vacation on friday at 11;24 am . ;)

how is spooky little girl treating ya?
~*~Lilly~*~ said…
Ha,ha,ha,ha! Oh damn you lent! I am not even catholic and you keep me from my vino addictions. Well instead tonight i have replaced you with a yummy giant bottle of DR cider beer. (a swift 2nd) So while you let your wine take advantage i will be here in NYC wondering...Should i possibly be building an ark to float my way out of this monsoon of a storm we are currently having? I swear i just saw a rat float by under my window on a piece of drift wood. lol
ND said…
Amen, Sister. I let that bottle of wine take advantage of me -- and it feels ever so good. It's been one of those mondays for everyone, I think.
carissa said…
I am horrible at POV and have finally just learned t comes with that . I'm just going to need a really really good editor or a whole lot of adderol.

Let me know if you find a helpful guide!
Ashley Stone said…
Monday is over! Hope the rest of your week is kinder to you! If not... tell me and I'll beat it up for you.
Talli Roland said…
I hear you on the wine! But it's Tuesday now, and I hope you're feeling better.
Staples said…
Great post. Can't help myself to not stop laughing! Sorry that your Monday has been bad.

Good luck & don't stop writing!

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