TMI Thursday: in which i should have said nothing at all

Nice pants, wanna... ?

So, a couple of weeks ago the manager at my branch had a super busy day. He didn't even take a lunch! He was literally in his office all day long, bombarded with customer after customer.

Suffice it to say, when he came up to the teller area at 4:45, he was famished and informed us that he was going to "lunch" and would see us all on Monday.

After the obvious, "Yeah, go on and go. You must be starvingspice!" I went ahead and decided to compliment his wardrobe. (Nothing wrong with staying on his good side!)

(Plus, he had on this light purple shirt, a sharp looking tie, and black and white [kindofhot] pin-stripe dress pants.)

So, yours truly tells him, "You know, I really like your outfit. I just noticed, because I haven't seen your pants all day!"

One of my tellers turned beet red and burst into boy-giggles. "Are you aware of how that sounds?!"


So, I had to admonish my teller. "Mind! Gutter!" (Get yours out of it.)

Yeah, so that was funny.

Open Mouth - Insert Foot Hand

I almost got to tell this story to a room full of colleagues yesterday at a work-thingy, because we got to tell funny slash embarrassing bank stories. (And, you know, I do have a few of those which I actually can tell in mixed company.)

Sadly, I didn't think of this anecdote until later, so the prize went to a lady who once eeked! at a mouse in her night depository. (Big whoop.) (Yes, I am a sore loser.)

But I digress.

I had this customer at my old branch -- super cool guy, friendly and real. We could greet him with a "What's up?!" instead of with a stiff, "Welcome back to such-and-such bank where I work."

This particular guy has a hook where his right hand should be. I don't know what happened. Either I've never asked or I did ask once and have since forgotten the story. (Sometimes I'm a little self-obsessed not a very good listener.)

Point being, it used to be all awkwardspice, but I got over it.

Until: one day he was dutifully stamping his checks for deposit, and I blurted out...

"Can I give you a hand with that?!"

Don't misunderstand. I didn't place emphasis on the word hand, because I wasn't being cute. Still, when I realized my poor choice in words, I was mor.ti.fied. I mean, who says hand to a guy who has a hook where his hand should be?

TMI ThursdayI couldn't breathe. I sort of wanted to laugh. But, no, I had to complete his transaction.

We started chatting about something mundane -- maybe something practical he bought -- I can't recall what, exactly, because I've semi-blocked it out.

I was all, "Oh, yeah. That sounds awesome! I'm sure that comes in handy!"

I said to myself, "Self? Seriously?!"

Check out Lilu's blog for more tragic tales!


Travener said…
" the prize went to a lady who once eeked! at a mouse in her night depository."

Is that bank humor or TMI?

Think about it in...uh...Billclintonian terms.
arlee bird said…
The hand thing-- that's was so funny I actually laughed out loud--not something I do often while reading. Good one.
Jen said…
You're right I should seriously start TMI Thursdays because yours cracks me up! Problem is that I'm unsure I'm as funny as you... maybe I do have some good stories in the back of my brain... time to pull them out I suppose!
MJenks said…
One night, back during dormlife, some guy got drunk, took his pants off, and ran around waving his dick at everyone, saying, "Look at my mousie! Look at my mousie!"

Hmmm...I wish I could work "hook" into that story somehow, then it would link all of your little anecdotes together...hook line and sinker.

I love Thursdays here. You just crack me up. :)
carissa said…
I kinda want a hook. Yeah.. That would be pretty awesome. And I am CONSTANTLY putting my foot in my mouth!
Ashley Stone said…
a hook? Really? crazy! Oh well, it happens! I'm sure he didn't pay much attention to it.
OMG this is too much! Pants!
Awwwww, TMI thursdays - my favorite blog day of the week. The only thing I miss about working in a regular job is the great stories I used to get from the office. Not worth it though. ;)
Sierra Godfrey said…
I love your TMIs Amber.

My work problem -- and I've done this several times -- is that I'll be chatting to someone on the computer (we have chat set up in our office) and someone will come up to me and talk to me and I'll type "hang on a sec" to the person in chat, except I write "sex" instead of "sec" BECAUSE THE C IS NEXT TO THE X!!! Cripes, it's so horrid.

I always manage to do this to men, too. Then I have to quickly type "Sec! Jesus! Sorry! Sec, it was sec!!"
meleah rebeccah said…
I found you through Lilu’s TMI posts. and I can relate to this very funny post because I also suffer from a case of 'Foot In Mouth Syndrome!'
Jen said…
I have an award for you over on my blog!!! Check it out when you get a chance :)

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