btw -- don't divorce me

As you well know, hubs and I were in the midst of World War XVI: Vacationgate 2010, when I found out I was preggers last Thursday.

Since we weren't really speaking to each other, I knew I had to tell him immediately -- so I was ready and waiting when he got home from work and stomped through our front door.

"Hey, hubs. Question. Are you going to divorce me if I go to Destin with my family this summer?"

"Maybe. I should!" (Hubs claims he is easy going. Sometimes I beg to differ. Obvi.)

"You shouldn't divorce me."

I pulled the pregnancy test from it's hiding spot under my shirt and kind of flung it at him. I didn't mean to drop it, but the lid came off and the whole shee-bang fell on the arm chair, in the midst of a pile of clothes which should have been in the hamper.

"What is that?" Hubs was confused.

"It's the reason you shouldn't divorce me. Duh." I found the pee-covered stick and handed it to him.

Hubs looked down at the two-lines and said, "It is mine?"

I was all, "That's so not funny."

Hubs was all, "Seriously. Is it mine?"

I got a little teary-eyed and crossed my arms and pouted. "I'm so glad we'll always remember this moment!"

He came over and kissed me and said he was sorry. "It's just that I was so worked up to be mad at you over this vacation ordeal."

"I'm still going. And I do not want to hear one more eff-ingspice word about it! And, I'm telling my Mom I'm pregnant. Don't tell me not to tell people! I'm calling her, like now."

We pretty much immediately got on the phone and called our friends and family.

My 85 year-old Grandma wanted to know what hubs said when I told him the news. I told Mamaw the truth, since she and I are cool like that.

Here's what Mamaw had to say about the hubs reaction:  "Well, you'd better tell him that even if it isn't his, it's caught in his trap, so he has to take care of it."

Comments

~*~Lilly~*~ said…
Awwww...Congrats! That sound totally like something my tard (hubs) would say when someday i have to tell him the same news. So nice to hear i'm not the only one with world war's in the double digits & who also experience vacationgates. lmao

Maybe they are possibly long lost cousins? lol
Hahaha. Your grandmother is hilarious!
Julie said…
Awesome! Congrats!
jayme said…
murph is a smart man with that response. ;) i kid i kidspice. but seriously, baby showerrrr!
Travener said…
Virtual baby shower!

And...I know you love your husband and all, but...that was really uncool of him.

Just sayin'.

Welcome to parenthood.

The thing I never got used to (with the first one) was that one day there's two of you, then the next there's three, and the next the people at the hospital say to you, OK, you can go home now and care for this little infant, like we were qualified or something.

But it's worked out OK.
Natalie said…
Congratulations! Your first baby is such a huge deal. I hope your hubby figures out now is NOT the time to tease you. Pregnancy hormones will make you crazy. :)
Congrats on the little babyspice and I love your grandmother. And I gotta give you props girl. If that was my husband, I'da laid him outspice. :)
Amalia T. said…
Congratulations!! I love your grandmother's reaction. She sounds like an awesome lady!
Simon C. Larter said…
If your hubs ever finds your blog, you are so going to be in the shitspice. Until then, however, I shall continue to be entertained.
omg thats too funny and congrats again!
Talli Roland said…
I love reading your posts!

Big congrats again. I can't wait to hear more about this new little being inside of you (and caught in your husband's trap...!).
Sierra Godfrey said…
Amber, that was uncoolspice of hubs to question your virtue, and I believe you can effectively make him pay for it throughout your pregnancy. Think regular foot rubs, and think frequent requests for going out and getting you ice cream.

If he says things like "You're not busy, why don't you go?" you can say "I am busy-- very busy. I'm COOKING your CHILD. I'm CREATING. And remember when you questioned if it was yours? Yeah. I'll take double rocky road please."

Just saying, like.
Jon Paul said…
That's like so awesome! Congrats Amber!
Tina Lynn said…
You have been so silentspice, I though maybe you have abandoned us to care for your offspring. Glad that isn't the case. If it makes you feel any better, when I told mine I was pregnant. He said, "You trapped me." And I was like, "Really? I trapped you into this marriage?" And he was like, "Yeah." *raises eyebrows* I think I kinda trapped him when he slipped that ring on my finger, but whatevs. My response to both men.

What.
A.
Douche.

:)
Congratulations - hubby will be a great dad - you'll make sure of it!
Ashley Stone said…
your grandma is too funny!
Jen said…
Congratulations again... glad you were able to work it all out with the hubs... and your grandma makes me giggle!
carissajaded said…
haha i love it! I'm glad it all worked out in the end, and that you get to take your vacay, you deserve it mama!
Jm Diaz said…
Holly Crap!... what am I saying??
Holly SHIT!! I go away for a few days and THIS... THIS is what I come back to read. Serves me well for trying to steer clear of social networking.

Congratulations dear! And yeah, totally uncool with the hubs question thing... Make him pay. Though grandma rules :) She knows her paternity laws .

I heart the crap out of you and wish you the best in everything.. And like Trav said, none of us were qualified at the time.. hell, I'm still not qualified.
I think your Mamaw is awesome!

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