i need a vacation, but at what cost?

This summer, my family is planning to go on vacation together. My mom and dad, and my sister and her husband (along with one or both of their kids) are heading to Destin, Florida in July. Everyone is renting their own condo at a beautifulspice resort.

Of course, the whole gang wants Mr. and Mrs. Amber Murphy to join them.

See. Here's the thing. Hubs and I would never choose to go on vacation smack dab in the middle of the summer. Everything is more crowded, and everything is more expensive.

However, the trip date revolves around my sister's nursing school schedule (ends in late May) and my niece's regular school schedule (she starts kindergarden in early August.)

So, the date is non-negiotable.

Hubs doesn't really want to go. He would rather do our own thing for vacay, and choose where and when we travel. Basically, he doesn't want to spend the money. It's true that our lovely tax return could be spent more wisely. We could put some of that money toward the tiny bit of credit card debt we have, or I could finally part ways with my wisdom teeth. We need new windows. Etc.

We have basically been using the "we can't afford it" excuse for months. Secretly, I didn't care that we couldn't really afford it. I wanted to go anyway. This will be our first family trip to Florida in over ten years. I don't want to miss out on playing in the ocean with my niece, laying out by the pool swapping magazines with mom, or getting ready for dinner and deciding what to wear with my sister.

Last night, my mom called and told me that if we really didn't want to spend the money, that I could still go. There's a sleeper sofa in the condo Mom and Dad chose. I could ride down with them, stay in their room, and all I would have to pay for would be my food (and adult beverages.)

Um, can I get a hell yeah? I told my Mom that I would want to pay for some of the room -- or help with gas or something, because I felt guilty and a bit like the black sheep of my immediate family.

So, I told hubs about the invitation to crash with my rents.

Of course, I'll share his pouty this-is-the-way-a-man-brain-works response with all of you. (That's how I roll.)

Hubs said, "But if you go, then it will look like we really can't afford it."

Trust me. I'd prefer we both went, and paid for our own private one-bedroom condo. I'd rather drive down with him, listening to what I want on the radio (well, no, fighting for control of the radio) and smoking the occasional road-trip cigarette. I'd rather it appear to my family that we are a healthy, normal, well-adjusted married couple.

So, I told him. "Then, let's both go."

Then he tells me that we should refinance the house instead.

I swear to god. I am.going.to.shove.a.flip.flop.up.his.

nostril.

P.S. Last night hubs stayed up waaaaay later than me and I couldn't sleep. I was momentarily paranoid that he had discovered my blog and was sitting out in the living room reading previous entries. Then, I decided that if he had discovered my blog I would probably yell at him for taking so long to do so, and then tell him that I am going to Florida with or without him, and to suckithard.

But, I don't think he discovered my blog. I'm pretty sure he would have mentioned it this morning.

Comments

Hahaha!! Oh man, marriage can be a bit like squeezing a lemon to get orange juice sometimes. My husband and I have been married nearly 14 years now and we still have these arguments. Though only difference is now we know exactly how each of us will respond to the other and antagonize each other into those same responses anyway. Fun times.

Perhaps there's a compromise in there somewhere?
Natalie Murphy said…
Why would it be such a bad thing if he found your blog?
Matt said…
Dude, is your husband a dope? Or maybe Amber Murphy isn't your real name. I just googled Amber Murphy and your blog came up third. THIRD!

On the vacation front, let your husband be a man for once. You have the rest of his life to effeminate him. Stay home, refinance, pull the teeth...

Believe me, neither I, nor he, is under any illusions who is in control here. And will be until time runs out.

14 years of marriage, as of today. I know how this works. Let him have this one.

Besides, Florida in summer is hot.
Talli Roland said…
Men, eh? If he doesn't like it, then... he should go too! Really!

Hello Amber's husband, if you're reading this! :)
You're gonna go and I am stoked for you! If it makes your hubs feel any better, tell him most young married couples are broke-asses theses days. At least you guys own a house!
Travener said…
Amber, no problem! Self-finance your trip! Here's how.

I have a friend who lives near Tampa. Basically all he does is take his metal detector to the beach. He's got jars full of diamond rings and gold jewelry and expensive watches that've fallen off folks beachin' 'n swimmin'.

So, hubs rents/buys a metal detector. (Can be sold once you get back from the trip -- no cost to you!) He spends his day at the beach huntin' up treasure.

Now, here's the key: he's got to wade out into the water. That's where the money is made. Lots of old fuddies cover the sandy part of the beach but don't want to get their feet wet.

So, out into the surf with hubs. He'll need a trowel or some other kinds of scoop and a small-mesh net or some kind of bag in which to keep the diamonds and gold and stuff.

Happy vacationing!
jayme said…
I think y'all should just rent a little one bedroom for yourselves and TREAT YOURSELF! you both could use a vacay and especially together. and fo sho don't miss out on your carley's beach time! refinancing your house and getting your wisdom teeth out are all old people stuff, you're still young. DOYY! GO TO FLORIDA BEFORE YOU'RE AN OLD GEEZER IN A REFINANCED HOUSE !!!!!!!!!!!
Elana Johnson said…
LOL! Well, no matter what, I hope you have a great vacay! I so need one about now.
MJenks said…
I don't think my wife mentioned it when she discovered mine. She was just...reading it...when I walked into the room.

Being as how I am all "oh, what a lovely wife you are *bat*bat*bat*eyelashes*" in my posts, it doesn't bother me.

I just let the murderous rage simmer beneath the surface. That's healthy, right?
pinkflipflops said…
that sounds exactly like my husband.
My husband has been everywhere in the world he's ever wanted to go, and a bunch of places he didn't, so ever since we've been married we've never gone anywhere together. That's 26 years.

I don't count visiting family here, but I always go with friends or to visit frineds and have a great time. So just do whatever you want to do for your vacation and have a great time.
Erin said…
i say you go on the vacation with your family and just be careful with your spending. chances are, your husband isn't as interested in spending time(and money)on a vacation with YOUR family. and then save the bigger bucks for a more private getaway for the two of you. at least that's what i would want to do!
Ashley Stone said…
haha family vacations.... I think you should go! Maybe he'll change his mind and go with you. I can't believe he still doesn't know about your blog. Sometimes I wish I hadn't put mine up on my facebook and everything, because now i can't really write about what I want to write about all the time, since people read it. Remember the post I wrote about the bed drama with my cousin? Yeah... she found it and it caused WW3. haha. Sometimes anonymous is better!!!

Oh...and Glee rocked my socks tonight! Gleespice!
Christine Danek said…
Ahhh marriage. Guys are like children. I love the way you wrote this. I would say go and have fun. Don't worry about what they think. I've been married for almost 12 years and guys never change. Let him find your blog--its not a bad thing--hi Amber's hubs.
Simon C. Larter said…
Iz super sekrit blog? I am amused by this.

Makes me wonder if my wife has a sekrit blog too, in which she rants about me...
Anonymous said…
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ND said…
I went to Hilton Head with one of my best friends this summer to celebrate my non-iversary (the date of my wedding to the douchebag). At the last minute, I decided to invite my brother and his family. It was the best vacation I've ever had. My brother and I had a chance to bond as adults, I was able to get new insight into and greater appreciation for my sis-in-law, and time with my niece that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. She STILL talks about "playin' in the 'cean" and seeing the "DOF-FINN!" I say you go. Either way.

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