TMI Thursday: in which there is a Friday edition

I have sucked balls lately.

Oh, wait. Not that way. I have sucked at blogging with regularity this week. I mean, jeezel peets! Not once in the twenty-nine weeks since my maiden TMI post (which was about how I simulatenously pooed and puked and since God loves me there was NO cleanup invovled!) (I mean, seriously, it was a miracle) have I ever missed a TMI Thursday post!

(I mean, I even found time to post on Thanksgiving Thursday. That one is a favorite of mine -- it was about the time I gave my number to a hot guy at a bar -- in front of my husband -- because a) I was drunk and he asked for it and b) he looked like that teacher from GLEE. Mr. Shu. Swoonspice.)

So, point being, I'm sorry that I have a been such a fair-weathered bloggy friend this week.

I'll make it up to you today. Here's a snippet of a conversation I had with my girlfriends at dinner on Tuesday:

Amber: "God, it would be so awesome if I was still a slut. I could have sex with whoever I wanted and I wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant!"

Amber's dearest and least judgy friend: "God, I love you. I love that you loudly announce that you were once a slut in a restaurant full of people. I love the way you think."

Amber: "I guess I would still have to worry about diseases, though."

Amber's other friend: "And passing along that slut gene to your baby."

Amber: "But, if it's a boy he'd just be considered a stud." I rubbed my belly. "It's such a double standard!"

Well, that's the gist of it.

I hope you enjoyed coming along on my girls' night out.

P.S. I took a huge dump the other morning and upon inspection, found that my poo-creation was shaped like a "J." I wondered if somewhere in the world, someone had ever squeezed out a similarly shaped one and found it to be a sign from God. Then I started thinking about how people often claim that they see the face of Jesus or Mary or whoever in their toast and stuff, and I wondered if anyone ever had a Jesus-faced poopie.

(Can we chalk all this up to pregnant brain?)

Thank you for reading this installment of TMI Thursday: the belated edition.

Comments

Lizz said…
Hey I'd blame it on the baby too! Some of my weirdest thoughts were while I was pregnant.
Jen said…
Worrying about passing the slut gene to the baby that's hilarious!!! You crack me up! Oh how I missed this yesterday, I'm glad you still managed to put it out today!!
Girl, its going to be a fun what 7 more months? 6?
But just wait for the whacky stuff that'll come out of your head after!

You are SO awesomespice, slut gene, come on!
MJenks said…
Damn.

And here I wasted my time in the northern part of the state.

Curses.
~*~Lilly~*~ said…
I believe after this revelation you should immediately name either sex bean that comes out with a "J" name! I mean it sounds logical right? lol

But i do have to ask since you seem to be on the same wave length as myself, have you ever poo'ed & been so impressed you were all like "hey hubs come here! OMG can you believe? can you????" lol
Travener said…
Well, you made up for no TMI Thurs.

You shoula put that Jay-Poop on eBay. People will buy all sorts of...stuff.
Ashley Stone said…
Maybe it means you should name your baby a J name... and then someday you can tell them all about how mommy came up with their name one morning after she saw the shape of her poop. haha
Sierra said…
This is such a timely TMI Friday post since I was JUST TELLING my husband today that I wished I'd been a huge slut when I was young and single! Hate it. Hate that the wisdom of being a slut only comes with age.
Mark Anthony said…
Haha, wow. Looks like this blog's a keeper.
Tina Lynn said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Regina Quentin said…
Oh my gosh. Wow. I just came back to your blog after a long break from blogging and read this post. This is really funny that you have TMI days. I'm so awake this morning after reading your post. Thanks for the laughs.

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