tmi thursday: muskrat love?

Hubs is out golfing, so this evening I'm planted in front of the television all set to watch my DVR-ed The-President-Visits-The-View and tonight's eviction episode of Big Brother.

First, though, I thought I might regale you with an unprecendented TMI Thursday topic.

Last night, I let my dog out for a routine pre-bedtime potty break. Ever the rebellious little hellion, she escaped from the back yard and set out to do some sniffing in someone else's territory. Hubs went out to rein her in, and as soon as he opened the front door, I started gagging.

"Ew, hubs. It smells like a skunk died in our driveway!"

Suddenly, Carson appeared on the front porch stoop and bolted into the house. She was obviously in the midst of some hyperactive moment or  experiencing some sort of post traumatic stress. She bounded down the hallway and into our bed, and then back up the hall and into the living room.

Then, I noticed that her doggy hair looked pretty greasy.

Then I noticed that the skunk smell was 42415531 times stronger.

Oh, mother of God! No! Say it ain't so. (I mean, I was just about to go to bed!)

Hubs immediately planted his nose into her back and came up gagging. I'm pretty sure he got skunk jizz all up in his nasal passages.

So, I explored some online options for removing skunk smell from dog (we were fresh out of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda and tomato juice) while hubs threw her in the bath.

Since we didn't seem very well stocked for the occasion, hubs just scrubbed the hell out of her with her normal oatmeal body wash.

While Carson toweled off, I took my copy of THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO to bed with me and crawled under the covers to read 2.5 pages before I sacked out.

After reading about a paragraph, I recalled that my darling dog had rolled around in our blankets with her skunky ass. I stuck my head under the comforter and inhaled. It didn't smell much worse in there than it did in the rest of house, so I just went with it. I turned off the light and closed my eyes so as to fall asleep before hubs came into the bedroom and required me to take the time and effort to put clean sheets on our bed.

Yes, I slept in those skunky sheets. And I was snoozingspice by the time hubs came to bed, so I don't know if he noticed that I hadn't changed the bed linens. And, depending on how they smell this evening, I might just go ahead and sleep in those sheets again tonight.

I mean, I don't do laundry until Sundays.


Simon C. Larter said…
Laziness FTW. I'd tell you how long there's been a bloodstain on the guest room bedsheets, but I'd prefer not to fall afoul of the missus. Let's just say it's been a while. Yeah, I've slept in that bed a few times. (What? Sometimes it's the only place I can get peace!)

Ain't no judgement here. Rock them skunky sheets.

Just if we ever meet in RL, I'm doing the sniff test before hugging you.
...eeeewwwww.... I don't think I could have slept in that.. *shudder* I remember when our dogs rolled in something super foul and wow did that take an effort to scrub out
Ashley Stone said…
haha, gross!!! Your poor doggy! He is so cute!
reberto.alberto said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jen said…
Poor puppy, what a cutie though! I have to say that I would have changed the bed linens, but when you are tired, pregnant and very freaking lazy I think it's okay!

Hope they don't smell to awful today!
B.E. Sanderson said…
Oh ew. When I was growing up, our dog got skunked quite a few times. I think he thought they were kitties and he wanted to play. To this day, the smell gives me a headache.

Did the oatmeal body wash work? It'd be good to know if my outdoor cat ever runs into one of the town's skunks.
~*~Lilly~*~ said…
I believe i might have done the same thing! lol :)
carissa said…
Ewwwwww hahahaha!

But I'm not one to talk. I dont even have a washer or dryer right now. I ummm... have been living in my house since March 1st.... and I havent changed sheets the more than the amount of times you can count on a peace sign.
Sierra Godfrey said…
God you make me laugh Amber. I just LOVE you.

I would have slept in them too.

(And congrats on getting comment spam....that particular troll seems to be making the rounds, I've seen it on tons of blogs!)
RA said…
LOL It could have been so much worse. Carson could have dragged the skunk inside, to the bed and then what? :D
Jm Diaz said…
I go away for a few weeks and you go and get all skunky ass... I mean, wow. And why the hell are there skinks in your neighborhood?

I totally would've slept in them too.. after a not so ridorous sniff test.

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