it's the most wonderful time of the year!

I shouldn't even be allowed to blog anymore because of the irregularity of my posts and my lack of keeping up with my reader.

Still... here goes. A post! How novel!

Top Ten Pregnancy FAILS
(my due date is December 16th... about two weeks and two days to go!)

1.) Secretly, the car seat is still in the box.

2.) Secretly, so are the stroller, pack and play, and high chair. And the crib is still in transit and coming via Fed Ex.

3.) Secretly, my bag for the hospital is only half-packed. So is the baby bag.

4.) Secretly, I only have four pairs of pants that still fit, and only three of those fit comfortably.

4.5) What are jeans? I've forgotten.

5.) Secretly, I don't plan on buying Christmas gifts for anyone under the age of seven this year.

6.) Secretly, I've considered wrapping baby clothes and other pre-purchased items to give my baby gal on Christmas morning. And I might fill her stocking with little nursery necessities from the now-stocked changing table. Do you know how much money I've already spent on this almost-person?!

7.) The reason I feel like she needs gifts under our tree? For the pictures. I mean, she'll be five seconds old for her first Christmas. She will love and adore it when I unwrap the breast pump.

8.) Secretly, I haven't taken any labor classes... like the ones about breathing techniques and what not. I figure I can just wing it. I'm really good at taking big sheedoobies. How much different can it be to push out a baby? :) (For the record, I did take other prenatal classes. I'm not completely moronic.)

9.) Secretly, I want my water to break tonight so that I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I mean, I want to meet the little one, too... I want her to get here soon for both reasons!

10.) Secretly, I feel quite certain that everything is going to be just fine -- in spite of all my pregnancy fails. So, this, number ten, is not a fail. It's an infrequent anti-failspice.

Comments

Dude, you can totally wing labor WHY NOT!! I love that theory. I love your attitude!
I can't wait to hear your musings on mothering- I'm sure that I'll think they are fab times a million.
(and remember that I'm a childless 30-something who shies away from mommy bloggers. but not you because you are freaking awesome.)
Susan R. Mills said…
I wrapped my baby's gifts and put them under the tree too. Seems silly, but I'm glad I did it.
Vicki Rocho said…
I didn't take any labor classes either. I figured women had given birth for thousands of years BEFORE they invented that lamaze class, and they did just fine.

And you know what? I did just fine too. My biggest fear was I wouldn't know when to push. HA! You'll know. It's the only thing you'll WANT to do...and some uppity doctor will look at you with a straight face and tell you NOT to. hahahaha...I did anyway. Nature trumps doctor.
Ashley Stone said…
: ) We won't tell anyone your secrets.
Travener said…
Oh, man, I can't wait to see a picture of the Murphykette.

The most amazing part of the whole thing for me was that 24 hours after the first child was born, the hospital gave him to us and said, "OK, you can take this little human being home and be completely responsible for him," even though we were clueless.
jayme said…
wittle baby is almost here!! so excited and can't wait to hold the little girlie! xo
Sierra Godfrey said…
Secretly, you should pack your hospital bag if that's the only thing you do because secretly, sometimes babies come early and you won't really be concerned with things like packing if that happens, especially if you have to go in a hurry.

And put huge thick overnight pads in that bag because you will need them after the birth and the hospital provides ones that are from 1968.
B.E. Sanderson said…
I remember taking one of those classes, but I can't remember what they taught. One thing they didn't bother to tell me is don't grip the bed railings beside your head while you're pushing. You'll pull all the little muscles in your neck and shoulders. Nothing like the first couple days of motherhood stiff from the collarbone up.

You'll do fine. :hugs:

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