the good tears

I spent a good part of the nine months I was pregnant being a little miffed that I would have a December baby. I spent the better part of late November and early December just wishing she would getherealready... so her birthday wouldn't be dreadfully close to Christmas every year. I prayed that I wouldn't go past my due date and end up in the hospital for Christmas.

I wasn't that excited about having a "Christmas baby."

Then she arrived and none of that mattered anymore.
It is a special time of year to have a baby... and the hospital looked beautiful with winter decorations, Christmas trees, lights.

More, in those quiet moments alone with Stella, when I looked into her eyes, I felt like saying thank you to a Big Man Upstairs -- one whom I'm not even sure I always believe in.  

On our last day at the hospital, the most wonderful thing: I was walking back from the nursery and I heard voices behind me -- the voices of a choir singing. I started to boing! my head and blame it on lack of sleep when I turned around and saw Christmas Carolers rounding the corner and headed my way.

Hubs was in our hospital room, holding Stella. I stayed in front of the singers and was choking back tears when I burst into our room and whispered for hubs to bring the baby into the doorway so she could hear the music and see the Carolers as they passed.

Apparently, we were the only ones in our wing who cared to stand and listen -- the carolers literally congregated in front of our room and continued to sing.

Tears poured out of my eyes as I was caught up in the emotion of the season and the magic of the moment. My husband's face was quite wet, too. Nurses were watching from the nurses' station and I'm fairly certain a few of them cr

The Carolers asked us her name and then they played Away in a Manger, dedicated to Stella Claire.

I'm not sure I can explain the beauty and overwhelming joy of that moment. Call it raw emotion, call it a divine presence, or say it just tis the season... but standing there I felt like heaven opened up and something greater than me said, "You're welcome."

Merry Christmas Eve!


Travener said…
What a wonderful memory to havd. Merry Christmas to all the Murphys, big and small.
Aw, totally brought tears to my eyes.
Vicki Rocho said…
***confession*** your post made me tear up.

I cried those good tears the whole first week I was home with my daughter. It's such an amazing time. Enjoy it.
Elle Strauss said…
You may not always believe in him, but He always believes in you!
Natalie Murphy said…
Oh, thats such a lovely memory to have! Now thats going to be her song forever and ever =)

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