...my last day of alternate reality...

Yeah, I've been in such a baby bubble for the last 8 weeks that yesterday afternoon I told my husband I was going to cheer for the Jets to win the Superbowl. (And I actually do like sports!)


It's my last day of maternity leave: I go back to work tomorrow morning. The mix of emotions is intense, and Stella doesn't even start day care until next Monday, since hubs is on vacation and will be staying home with her this week. (I'll be coming home at lunch time for a little breastpumping/ cuddle session. YAY!)

Speaking of breast pumping, I'm a little concerned as to how that will work out for me at the bank. I'm thankful that my right to pump is federally mandated, but, um... bank branch = cameras everywhere. And a few camera monitors, too.

I'm pretty sure my pumping location options include:

 a freezing cold restroom (thankfully, there are two restrooms in my branch, so I could theoretically occupy one for twenty + minutes without any inconveniece to the staff)

or, a smellyspice storage area where the cleaning crew keeps supplies... seriously, it reeks of ass and death.

I need to put the following items in my breast-pump bag: febreeze, maybe a scented candle, a space heater, and a notebook and pen... oh, wait -- won't have a free hand to write. I'll be double pumping; draining both gals at once, to make the process more time friendly.

Perhaps I'll get a tape recorder and dictate my blog posts (or my novel-not-in-progress-in-the-last-ten-months) to myself.

Sigh. I wish I could pump in our kitchen-ish break room area. It's cold back there, too, but at least there's a television and I could watch Family Feud or something.

It seems like just yesterday that we brought her home...
Did I mention I'm going to miss Stella?

Other things I'll miss:

* sleeping after her middle of the night feedings until 9:00 in the morning
* staying in my pj pants for the better part of the day every day
* taking a shower every other day, and never before noon
* staying home so much that I saved a bundle on gas
* daytime t.v. including Regis, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Talk, The King of Queens reruns...

Ohhh, speaking of The King of Queens. It randomly occured to me the other night WHY that show has its name.

They live in Queens, New York.

(Seriously, never thought about that before.)

Oh, God. I need to go back to work, don't I? *sings made up song* ...Cabbbin Feeeeever...


anything that reeks of ass and death should be avoided at all costs....
I NEVER would have figures that out about the King of Queens.

HEHE. You smart....
Hmmmm, I hadn't realized that about King of Queens either... I don't know why I always thought about a deck of cards when I heard that title. That makes almost zero sense.
I hope your first day back goes well, hang in there, momma!
Jenna Wallace said…
In your BF supply bag, don't forget to put a picture of your little angel. It's kind of like boobporn -- can get things flowing, so to speak. (I know its not TMI Thursday, but just sayin'...)
pinkflipflops said…
good luck!!!! just think of the TMI thursdays you will have after you flash half of your coworkers!
Little Ms J said…
Out of curiosity - did you have trouble working on your WIP while you were pregnant? I have some kind of brain block and I'm wondering if it is just the hormones that have taken all my damn words away!

Good luck tomorrow. I know it will be tough!
Wendy said…
LOL Jenna - boobporn (but I agree it does work!) Amber, you need a hands-free bra! And if the bank has more than 50 employees, they have to provide a non-bathroom space to pump in.
Travener said…
You got yourself one of those electric pumps? Noisy butg efficient! You could always fashion yourself a double-barreled pump holster, cover yourself with a blanket and pump away hands-free at your desk...or in the bathroom, reading a book -- or blogging! -- as you drain the puppies.
Ashley Stone said…
Hope your first week back went well! I'm sure you're missing your Stella. xoxo

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