Just the Way I Quit Smoking Part II of Several

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He didn't make me dinner that Friday night, as promised. Instead, as I was primping in preparation to head to his place, he sent a text. A picture of him, and the edge of his toilet with the view of SomeNBAGame on in the background.

He had food poisoning, he assumed. And here was Photo Evidence. (Looking back, the picture was red flag #1. Whosendsthat?!) 


He asked what I was up to the next morning. I was working for a few hours. He sent another pic, himself in the cough-drop aisle of a Walgreens. His throat was raw from all the vomiting. Did I have plans that night?

I did. I was attending a comedy show, a Roast of Saved by the Bell. (Incidentally, my now-boyfriend played Zack. I didn't know him at the time, nor did I meet him that night. But, I did see him. I find that amusing.)

I invited Mr. Wonderful, but he passed, saying he would lay low since he was still recovering, and could he have me over the next day? We could watch the Indiana basketball game together.


He sent me a text the next morning and told me to check his Facebook for a fun video. He's hanging with a friend of his, and she caught him doing an uncanny Crocodile Hunter impression and tagged him in a vid.

I immediately had a bit of a reaction.This is a little odd, it's quite early on a Saturday morning for him to be hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex in a completely platonic, didn't-spend-the-night-before-together kind of way.

But, then - he had told me about it. So surely it was innocent. I texted back that the video was hysterical. He told me the friend was a successful home-flipper, with the help of her dad. And kind of braggy about money. And he'd see me at game time. Sent his address.


We ate salsa verde and chips and cheered my Hoosiers on to victory. Him, completely engaged and next to me on the couch. Me, falling for him and wearing an Indiana sweatshirt. We started this inside joke when an IU player missed a dunk that escalated into us calling one another "cuz" - short for cousin - for the duration of our time together.

The game ended. He asked me to dinner. We ate sushi. We hit up Kroger for a few incidentials - something like, "I'm completely out of after shave! Mind to stop with me?" and me feeling like this is getting a sort of relationshippy feel realquick, but not so much minding. I even let him trade me places to walk nearer the parking lot traffic, ever the gentleman.

Then, it was back to his place. We could keep hanging, if I wanted? Watch a movie in his room, with a little privacy from his roommate?

Of course, in homage to our aforementioned conversation about the song In Your Eyes, he suggested Say Anything, but it seems like we couldn't find it to stream. At any rate, we sprawled across his bed and watched The Breakfast Club instead. At some point, I remember I mentioned that it was odd to share a first kiss with someone while already in his bed. He offered to stand up and start over. I giggled and slept over.


The next morning, I drove home in that stereotypical fog of Falling For Him Fast. Before I got ready for work, I sat down to watch that adorable video of his Australian accent.

I made a mistake. I clicked on the girl. Barely scrolled down at all, and there I saw it. Saturday night, hashtag date night. Pappardelle Pasta and My Man. The night he said he planned to lay low and recover from the Friday Food Poisoning.

My insides twisted.

There had to be an explanation.



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